can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
