ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I looked at my own cervix.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
