No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
