I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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