you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
