dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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