what day is it and did you see me today?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize