I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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