She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
