I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
