Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
