your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
