we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
