i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My vagina is officially offended.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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