the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
