love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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