Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
