he wants to bone in the snuggie
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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