dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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