Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Randomize
