Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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