I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Let's get the cat blown out
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
