WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize