You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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