the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
