So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
