Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Randomize
