My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
