every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
