a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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