Are we in a gay sports bar?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
