well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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