Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
