That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
