we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
