True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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