i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
