This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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