But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Randomize
