I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
