From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
