But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
nutella sex= disaster
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
