So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
