I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
