capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
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