I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
