woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
