P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize