I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
im having a threesome with these popsicles
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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