Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
