sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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