Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
