oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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