I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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