So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
