The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
