My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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