I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize