just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
