I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
