What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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