Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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