You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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